Potato Harvest 2012, or, Stop Stepping on My Vegetables

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Potato Harvest 2012, or, Stop Stepping on My Vegetables

October 16, 2012 by Bad Mama Genny

Unlike last year’s potato harvest, this time there were no pirate hats, accidental Mexicans, or dead bodies.

There was, however, a steep drop in productivity. I don’t think I need to tell you whose fault that was.

Fugly-looking plants after I’ve taken away their support system. GIVE US BACK OUR SUPPORT SYSTEM!

Never. I’m going to cripple you emotionally and then eat you.

Things started off slow…

But then I got some “help.”

“I’m helping, I’m helping, look at me fucking help!”

Yes, my kittens say “fuck.” What of it?

Then things started to really pick up speed.

No thanks to London being all, ooh! This is not potato patch! BMG, you are mistaken! This is red playtime ball factory!

Of course, once one of them gets interested…

“May I?”

“What’s that, you said no, I don’t care.”

Some heavy lifting…

London photobomb! (bottom-left corner)

Don’t give me that coy face IF I FIND A HAIRBALL IN MY MASHED POTATOES SO HELP ME GOD.

So yeah. Despite the fact that these vegetables have been stepped on? It was really nice to have help.

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Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged London, Miglet, peachums stairmaster, Pfefferneusse, potato growing, potato harvesting | 7 Comments

7 Responses

on October 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm Gary

Well, I just had to inform you that this is without doubt the funniest, most entertaining and good-for-the-soul blog I’ve ever encountered. I fell in it from… I don’t even know where now… I think I googled Angel Cake… about 3 hours ago – and I’ve only just stopped reading because my housemate came upstairs to check I wasnt dead.

You’ve single-handedly altered me from a crumbling work-leavened ruin of a husk to a giggling fucktard, so thank you – you’ve made my evening. Plenty of kisses.

Also – potato related – see if you can get some Pink Fir Apple Potatoes if you havent tried them already. I’ve just pulled mine and they look like a tub of dead, fat mans fingers: Hilarious but tasty.
on October 23, 2012 at 6:13 pm Suzanne

Whatcha wanna bet they were using those plants as litter boxes before you came along to harvest.
on October 26, 2012 at 10:09 am Bad Mama Genny

They were not! And I know this only because I could see the longing on their little faces…and I placed a four foot wall of chicken wire around it, only removing it at harvest. Har har, fluffbeasts! Joke’s on YOU!

BMG
on October 26, 2012 at 10:14 am Bad Mama Genny

Gary, that is so effing kind! That is how I appear in most people’s lives. Completely ~~unexpected~~ unwarranted.

“A husk of a giggling fucktard.” Yes, Gary, you shall fit in quite nicely here.

Pink Fir Apple Potatoes! Fat man’s fingers! This shall go on my gardening list for next year. If I start talking about something else…REMIND ME. Or else I shall not know the joy of eating fat man fingers. And THAT…is a quote you should definitely take out of context.

BMG
on October 29, 2012 at 12:07 pm Jasmin

I have been looking for a blog like this for a long time. It was incredibly enjoyable and you definetly have a new follower. How can you NOT like someone who knows how to cook, do DIY projects, and knows all the different ways to use the word “fuck”? I can’t wait until your next post.
on October 29, 2012 at 1:25 pm Gary

I completely agree Jasmin, Ive rammed this right in my favourites. Im wondering if it would be wrong to start a cult? Be the damn awesomest cult going.

And mwah mwah mwah to the BMG, youre abundantly welcome – you inject a lot of sunshine into otherwise dreary days (I like to think the dreary day is pinned down by the neck, kneed in the goodies, slapped around a little, then has the sunshine forced straight down its throat while tears of defeat stream down its face) (with a big friendly/ manic grin on your face)

…

Totally what happens.
on October 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm Bad Mama Genny

*sigh* You fuckers are good for my soul.

Gary, there’s gotta be a cigar and a jug of moonshine in that somewhere. IT’LL BE MY NEW LOGO. Did I have a logo?…IT’LL BE MY FIRST LOGO.

bmg