Smoky Slow-Cooker Cuban Black Bean Soup, or, Bad Mama Genny Will Force You To Have Free Birth Control and a Steak

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Smoky Slow-Cooker Cuban Black Bean Soup, or, Bad Mama Genny Will Force You To Have Free Birth Control and a Steak

March 2, 2012 by Bad Mama Genny

This is the best black bean soup I have ever made. Or tasted. Restaurant versions included!

I credit the smoked ham hock–it infuses the whole deal with so much flavor. If you’re looking for a substitute, try a few chicken pieces, a smoked turkey drumstick, some very lean bacon, or a few short ribs. But honestly? Use the ham hock. USE THE HAM HOCK!!!!!!

It will make the house smell so nice while you’re busy slicing your finger open, trapping the wrong feral cat, and watching the wind blow the back fence down.

The Boy fixed it! It’s all okay!

Speaking of trapping feral cats (sorry, SORRY we return to less kitty-saturated content after this weekend), a big thank you to all of you who lent your support via the Bad Mama Genny Facebook page, blog comments, Twitter messages, emails, phone calls, and telepathic good vibes. I FELT THE MISFIT FORCE AT WORK WITHIN ME.

Or was that brain freeze, from my raspberry mango bubble tea? Oh, well, never matter.

And lo, I trapped a cat!

Not without incident (of course OF COURSE NOT WITHOUT INCIDENT whose blog do you think this is?), but nevertheless, it was done in under five minutes. The kitty. She refused dinner last night. She hateses me. But maybe she will loveses me again soon! When she realizes that I am giving her the ability to sashay those hips and curl that flirty little question mark tail without consequences. Also, I may or may not have purchased a pound of top-quality meat for her surgical recovery.

What?

WHAT?!

Keep pullin’ for Basilette, who’s in surgery today thanks to The Boy, who is chauffeuring her around. When I was a little girl, my ginger cat Marmalade (these are the pre-allergy days, you’ll remember!) died during a routine neuter operation–we later found out he’d been over-anesthetized. I know such a thing is extremely rare, and through this blog I actually managed to find somebody who’s worked with and highly recommends Basilette’s surgeon!

Oh, Internets. Sometimes I really love you.

So overall I’m confident, and so long as I can get through her recovery without my respiratory system shutting down, I’ll feel a whole lotta warm fuzzies about the time and effort we’ve spent on our homestead’s littlest farm cat.

Then we do it all over again with her mother.

My real life. Anything less just wouldn’t make as good a Xanax commercial.

Smoky Slow-Cooker Cuban Black Bean Soup

Go Get:

1 lb. smoked ham hock
1 lb dried black beans, soaked overnight and rinsed and drained
1/4 cup fresh Cuban Oregano, cut chiffonade style
1 1/2 Tablespoons sea salt
2 heaping teaspoons ground cumin
1/3 teaspoon each: cayenne, paprika, & black pepper
2 bay leaves
3 jalapenos, diced
1 large onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced

Go Do:

In your slow cooker (or a Dutch oven set on very low heat), pile the ham hock, beans, and all other ingredients. Add enough water to cover, probably about 8 cups. Set the cooker to high, cover, and let it cook, stirring occasionally, until ham is fall-off-the-bone tender, about 5 hours. Pull out the ham hock, remove the meat from the bone, and shred it. Return the meat to the pot and stir thoroughly, then re-cover. Continue to cook until meat and beans are extremely tender and broth is thick, about 2-3 hours. Taste the soup and adjust seasoning if necessary. Now pull out the bay leaves and serve, preferably with a scoop of rice. Other topping ideas include diced red onion, sliced avocado, or drizzled sour cream/plain yogurt.

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Posted in Appetizers, Bean Sides, Beans, Ham, Main Dishes, Peppers, Rice, Soups and Stews | Tagged Basilette, black beans, feral cats, ham hock, Margot, misfit telepathy, slow cooker, soup, spay, Xanax | 10 Comments

10 Responses

on March 2, 2012 at 1:17 pm E.

Congrats on the kitty trap! I’m sure she’ll come through just fine.
on March 2, 2012 at 1:25 pm Bad Mama Genny

Thanks, E! I’ll post a status update on Twitter tonight once she’s home and safe and sound.

BMG
on March 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm z

Well done catching her! I know it’s gonna be tricky with the allergies but you may want to try and keep Basilette somewhere relatively safe for a day or so – our cat’s momma (a fairly-feral barn cat) was killed on the road right after the barn owners got her neutered, and we reckon she was still muzzy from the anaesthetic….
on March 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm Bad Mama Genny

Oh how sad! Yeah, Basil’s being kept in a warm, shut up bathroom until the clinic clears kitty for release. They recommend a day for boys and two days for girls.

Thanks for the kudos!

BMG
on March 4, 2012 at 10:28 pm Lemon Bars

The butcher offered to cut the ham hock I was buying, and it was a great improvement on cooking, stirring, meat dispersal, etc. (Four pieces worked out well.) Aaaand, at the end, you can either scoop the cooked marrow out and add it to the soup for even richer flavor, or share that deliciousness with the Boy. Can’t do that with a whole hock very well.
on March 5, 2012 at 10:53 am Bad Mama Genny

Now THAT is a fantastic idea, Lemon Bars. Waste not, want not, AND marrow is one of those things that’s not only incredibly rich and delicious, but also full of nutrition. I love it when people come to me with more ideas on using every part of the animal.

Thanks for stopping by!
BMG
on March 7, 2012 at 4:24 pm Slow Cooker Lavender Beef Stew, or, Gather Round, Children, and I Shall Tell Tale of Big, Gay Muffin Cat « Bad Mama Genny

[...] on Friday, the day we’d dropped Basilette the stray off to be spayed, the phone rang. It was Doug from the spay/neuter clinic. My heart lodged [...]
on March 9, 2012 at 7:46 am Tricia

I think its a good kind of food..Thanks for sharing..
Tricia recently posted..Does xenadrine work
on April 2, 2012 at 7:36 pm Smoky Slow Cooker Turkey and Bean Soup, or, A Crockpot Is Exactly Like a Vagina Hold On Hear Me Out On This « Bad Mama Genny

[...] yeah, these slow cooker bean pots are a thing of mine. And for good reason, since you can, pardon me so hard for using the [...]
on August 14, 2012 at 8:33 pm Slow Cooker Yellow Split Pea With Ham Soup, or, Goddamn Emo Kittens Get Off My Lawn Mer Mer Mer « Bad Mama Genny

[...] times like these when I take comfort in having a huge ham bone [...]